I have been watching some episodes of “House, MD” series lately -I find the main character particularly entertaining^*. In the last episode I watched (which is still from season 1), there is Harvey, a patient that visited the clinic because for some months now he has been grinding his teeth (!) The fun part begins when a doctor asks Harvey (and his friend) if he had had any treatments for his condition. Here is the whole woo dialogue:

• Doctor: Have you had any treatment for the teeth grinding?
• Friend: He saw an acupuncturist
• Doctor: Do you know what the acupuncturist did?
• Friend: She diagnosed liver chi stagnation and send Harvey to a zen balancer. He referred him to a homeopathic doctor who send him to a chiropractic
• Doctor: Naturally
• Friend: But the chiropractic thought it might be food sensitivity and send Harvey to a naturopath
• Harvey: And the naturopath send me back to the…
• Doctor: Back to the acupuncturist…

The acupuncturist diagnosed a liver chi stagnation!!! Here is a quick explanation according to a random google search hit (*real* natural medicine):

When chi flows smoothly, health is in a balanced state. When this vital force is interrupted or flowing in the wrong direction, health problems occur. Liver chi stagnation is a term used to describe an unharmonious flow of the liver’s energy, or simply put, ‘a sluggish liver’.

Yes!

Good thing Harvey was so early diagnosed, because then he could be ‘fixed’ by a zen balancer! According to another random google search hit (some Glasgow aromatherapy shop), here is what zen balancing is about:

Wrapping you from head to toe in luxurious warm Rose oil. using acupressure points on the head and face. followed by a soothing back, neck and shoulder massage with cleansed rose quartz placed on the body to re-balance energy. Reflexzone on pressure points of the feet as they are gently massaged. 60mins of pure bliss is completed by a soothing cup of green tea and honey. The perfect body balancing treatment

The poor guy has been circling around every imaginable form of pseudoscientific woo: homeopathy, acupuncture, chiropractic, crystals, reflexology, aromatherapy, energy healing, naturopathic diet fads! I wonder if anything has been left out? Maybe prayer?

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Footnotes:

1. * hmmm, perhaps I see elements of him in me? [↩]